There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
