if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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