do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think people are normalizing furries
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize