physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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