question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
