god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
oh god the rape fog is back!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
