2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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