Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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