i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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