Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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