I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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