I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
