I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
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At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
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Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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