Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
