Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
pop tarts are not kleenex
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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