He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm just crazy horny about you
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
