How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
