Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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