So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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