Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
