She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.