Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.