Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off