I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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