...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
