It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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