if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
