Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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