new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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