This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize