i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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