sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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