Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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