i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
