Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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