we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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