I must be too annoying 4 u.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
