just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
