dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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