This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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