JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
