Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
