I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
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I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
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Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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