Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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