Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
