He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
