ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
