You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
