I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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