So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
