I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize