i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
