even my farts smell like vagina
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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