Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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