maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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