I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
