I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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