So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
