Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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