it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
