the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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