better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
