I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize