We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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