and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
