Well apparently he's into motor boating.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
